Buyer's Remorse #12 - Nielsen's Fight Palace

Hello out there to all the people with less games than me! Who needs things like "financial security" or "the love of a woman" when you can surround yourself with your true family: 1200 video games.

As of writing this, I'm only three games away from 1200 in my collection. That's totally stupid. Honestly, I'd like to add up the number of hours to see how long it would take to beat them all. Not even Ra's al Ghul could finish them in his lifetime. 

I made this face the first time I played Batman Forever on Genesis...

I'm glad that Batman forced his way into this blog because it reminded me to mention that I'm finally playing through Batman: Arkham Asylum on Xbox 360. I'm enjoying it as I tried not to get sucked into the hype and just play it with no major preconceived notions. It's a lot of fun and Kevin Conroy and Mark Hamill's voice acting is awesome. Kevin Conroy will always be the voice of Batman for me and Christian Bale can go suck on a Fisherman's Friend and do as he pleases. 

Anyways, back to the task at hand, which is showing you the amazing purchases I made in the last few weeks of chasing. My game collection may not grow by 150 games a month like Tommy's does, but I think I've made some strong additions since Christmas. Here's the Feb 15th scores:

We did get to the pawn shop that I mentioned in my last blog and really took our time digging in the cluttered garbage in this place. You really had to be assertive and stand on your toes and peek behind the counter as this place had towers of random boxes of shit piled everywhere. Slow and steady wins the chase. Our eyes watered from the body odor and Hantavirus mouse poop that swirled in the air like a dust devil of death. After digging through scratched Spin Doctors CDs and tangled gobs of wires, I did unearth Eternal Champions on Sega CD. I also grabbed Super Mario Advance and Rogue Galaxy on PS2. The owner was a little price conscious as he figured we were probably collectors, but we prevailed with some sweet deals. 

The rest of the day was filled with our usual haunts and I enjoyed Tommy's brooding bitter venom when I snagged Legend of Heroes: Trails in the Sky. Neither of us have ever played a game in the series, but since we own a previous title, it created holes to be filled. Justification Engine vroom vroom!! On that note, I also bought Time Crisis II, because, you know, I own Time Crisis 3 and the number two comes before the number three and...aw fuck it...

I snagged a couple NES games I needed from the SNK world and finally put a spear in Sonic Adventure 2. I had to settle for the Gamecube version...for now. The copy of FFXIII-2 I grabbed came with a prose novella. I think it's called "I Didn't Know You Had Shiva" or "Ride The Lightning". I also can't wait to watch the horrible CG Tekken movie that comes as a bonus with Tekken Hybrid. Excellent!

The greatest victory of the day, and possibly of all time, was finally snagging a copy of Surf Ninjas on Game Gear. I used my Game Gear to see the future, and in the future I saw that I owned this game. Also in the future, my wife was mad about something. I think it was because I showed her the trailer for the Surf Ninjas movie. 

Surf Ninjas contains the most evil and powerful villain in the history of all the known and unknown universes. He could skullfuck Sephiroth and Shao Khan at the same time while eating the still-beating heart of Liquid Ocelot. He is our master and ruler. He created the concept of love, just so he could destroy it. He drinks smoothies made of kittens and his genitalia could simultaneously kill Chuck Norris and get him pregnant. All bow before: CYBORG LESLIE NEILSEN!!!

One Naked Gun to rule them all.

I honestly should just quit collecting games, because owning Surf Ninjas is the pinnacle. I didn't quit collecting, however, and bought a bunch more crap the following Friday. Check it out:

What happened to Wizards and Warriors IV-IX? Leslie Nielsen killed them.

I was stoked to get some awesome Game Boy games and knock a few big ones off my list by finding dirt cheap copies of God Hand and Otagi. It was a great night of collecting made even better by knowing that I brought home a lot of games that I can actually see myself playing. I've already played a bunch of Game Boy since I picked those up and Operation C is even better than I remember. 

The following day I popped by a Pawn Shop that gave us a scoop that they had received a large lot of SNES, NES, Genesis, and PS1, but had not gone through it and priced it yet. They asked us to come back the following day and since Tommy was working, I knew I needed to get there first to get the jump on that lucky son of a bitch. He has scooped me on Sega CD so much lately I could punch his face so hard with my foot. 

I pulled out a few beauties and put them aside and they told me they would text me later with a price. I rolled my eyes, thinking I was out of luck, but they did text me within about an hour with an amazing price. I thought they must have meant "per game" but nope, the price was for the whole lot. Huge victory!

Contra Hard Corps for $6.00 makes me hard. Nuff' said.

Even after soaring high on this victory, it was short lived as Tommy texted me with pictures of his latest score where a Kijiji seller just decided to pop by his work and sell him a trunkload of Sega. I wish they made a Molotov Cocktail that only burned Atlus games, cause I would lob one of those fuckers at Tommy's house...

That's all for now. IKEA help me store my games!

Super Robot Tyson